St. Aidan's Episcopal Church in Malibu

Obviously there are differences between Malibu, California and Windsor, Connecticut.

St. Aidan's is physically nothing like Grace Church. In fact, the first time I came here 8 years ago to worship, I couldn't find where the chapel itself was! There are several buildings on their campus...connected by walkways and pergolas. The chapel is situated in the center of it all. This visit I noticed they had signage everywhere. Boy was I envious! We've talked so much about getting good signage at Grace. I notice it at every church I go to now. It's so important. So at St. Aidan's there is no brownstone. There is no dark wood. There are only 2 stained glass windows. It's the California Episcopalian. Very casual. Very open and airy. Different, that's all.

The Christian Ed Director and Youth Group director I was supposed to meet were both called away to a Confirmation retreat when those 2 leaders became ill, so I talked for a very long time with the Rector of St. Aidan's...Rev. Joyce Stickley. I also talked with quite a few parishioners.

One of the things I loved that they do at St. Aidan's is regarding coffee hour. Families and groups rotate throughout the year and take a Sunday. The Acolytes do one Sunday. The Ushers do another. The Smith Family does another. The Choir does another. I thought that was a fantastic idea!

Their Sunday morning service is all listed in one booklet just as ours is now, and I, indeed, did find it easier than if I had to have done the "Episcopal juggle." Also, when it came time to read the individual names during the prayers of the People...everyone in the congregation read the names together in unison. I liked that.

Their 10am service was about the same size as ours...their worship space a bit smaller. They are talking about renovations for that. Their Peace...they all come out of their pews just like we do and hug and kiss and shake hands. I, as the newcomer, felt odd, of course. But several people sought me out to share the Peace while I stood in my pew. Coffee hour was another story. It was spoken in church for newcomers to join, of course, but I would have loved to have someone come up to me and personally ask me to join them and be walked over. But I just followed the crowd and found my way. I grabbed my coffee and purposely stood dead center in the middle of the room to see if anyone would talk to me. Several people smiled and nodded at me, but it wasn't until an older woman in her late 70's or early 80's came over and welcomed me that anyone else ventured over to chat with me as well. She was kind of the catalyst.

Then I spent quite a long time chatting with Rev Stickley and we shared ideas back and forth about Christian Education and Confirmation and I told her about the NAECED conference I had just attended. She was very interested in getting her Christian Ed department involved with NAECED so I am going to be sending them some info.

The rest of my week here in Santa Monica is spiritual, but doesn't involve visiting any other churches. I'll be visiting my great-grandfather's grave in Glendale tomorrow, and I may stop into their chapel there. My great-grandfather had a very mysterious life. He disappeared in Pittsburgh when my grandmother was a little girl and the family never knew what became of him until I found him buried in California a few years back. He had run off and started a new life. It's a long story...and an interesting one! If you want to know more about it, I'd be happy to share :)

The end of the conference

I'm settled in Santa Monica now, thinking about the experience of the NAECED conference. I'll tell you what...the organizers did a top notch job in the planning of this. They were open to feedback and really, sincerely want to continue growing and building this conference into all that it can be.

Friday was a bit rushed for so many of us who had a flight to catch. That was one of the only drawbacks of having a workshop in the afternoon. I think if they had some kind of activities or banquet Friday night, many more people would have made the decision to stay another night and fly out early Saturday morning. But many were trying to save their church money by not booking that extra night (like me) and trying to get the latest flight out they could.

In the morning was a delicious breakfast at St. Mark's. Then the Annual meeting and elections. Afterwards we broke up into 3 small discussion groups. The topics were varied and let by a NAECED board member. Our group topic was what kind of future workshops and activities we would like to see at future conferences. Technology workshops were the most requested. Jenifer Gamber's this year was excellent. We tried to cover so much in that workshop, it was suggested to break it down into several different sub workshops based on topic (one workshop entirely about Facebook, one workshop entirely on making a website for your parish, one workshop on Constant Contact, etc.) I really enjoyed hearing some of the other suggestions.

Word apparently got around that I am a website designer, because I had several ladies ask me for a business card...which I luckily remembered to bring in my wallet because I was intending to use them while I was in Los Angeles. One NAECED board member also made some kind of comment about what a great workshop I could probably do on web design. That thought kind of terrifies me, quite honestly. I've never done anything like that and I'm not really sure I'm the right person for it. So I pretty much steered clear of that person for the rest of the day. haha.

After a great lunch and HOMEMADE chocolate chip and oatmeal raisin cookies...still WARM for heaven's sake....we headed up to our various rooms for the final workshop of the day. I would say about 1/3 of the people had to leave at that point to get to the airport for afternoon flights. The shuttle was coming for me at 3pm, so I knew I would have to skidaddle out of the there when the class ended at 2:30pm.

Homegrown Spiritual Formation for the Small Church was AWESOME. Sarah Moden-Alliston got us all pumped up and excited about small churches and all that we could do. We broke up into smaller groups and basically created our own calendar year based on feedback with the other members in our group. Rally Day (Opening Day) was really interesting to hear about in how others do it. What I liked most was the suggestion of having a Ministry Fair every Opening Day. So while we are set up with Sunday School registration, other groups are there getting sign ups for coffee hour, readers, healing prayers, etc. Every September people would come to expect this is the place to sign up for the thing they are involved in already...or those they intend to be involved in. This would save the person doing the scheduling for these things a tremendous amount of time not having to chase people down.

I really liked the idea of having a theme for the school year. Everything we would do would revolve around that theme. My brain is buzzing about the possibilities.

The workshop ran over and I was sooo disappointed I had to leave to get back to the hotel and catch my shuttle. I also had to miss the closing worship and farewell. From what I heard, so did many others.

I have lots of hand outs to pour over from the weekend events. I really came away inspired at all we can do at Grace. I was happy to share my ideas with others. I was happy to receive ideas from others. I hope there will be another opportunity for me to experience these kinds of workshops again. They were incredibly helpful.

Thursday

Three fantastic workshops today...

Youth Christ and Culture: Understanding the Popular Theology of Those in your Pews was led by Amy Cook from the Diocese of Massachusetts. This workshop was jam packed and everyone had lots to say about the issues they struggle with in their own Christian Ed department. The focus of this workshop was based on a survey recently done on how teens view themselves in the church and what they are seeking in a church. One of the more interesting topics revealed that teens felt that God was mainly there to help in difficulties and that religion was about feeling good, secure, happy and at peace. This study (which polled all religions...not just Episcopalians) showed that we, as a church, have dropped the ball on teaching the very fundamentals of following Jesus. Holy observances and practices, such as prayer and keeping the Sabbath are not a part of every day Christian Education as it should be.

Keeping the Sabbath became a big discussion point (as has it been throughout the conference) and the frustration Christian Ed Directors feel having to compete with sports. Alternative services were brought up as working in some churches, but not others. Some churches who have a Saturday 5pm service found that Sunday School attendance dropped dramatically Sunday mornings. Families that didn't have sports commitments Sunday morning were choosing that afternoon service so that they wouldn't have to get up early on Sunday. Larger churches were finding it was giving families another choice of services and didn't seem to feel it affected their Sunday turn out.

Talking to many of the women over lunch that St. Mark's provided us, I discovered most all of them had some kind of adult formation led by lay people between their services. Some had that time where EVERYONE went to some kind of Sunday School....adults, teens and children. A family service would follow. In one surprising conversation, one Christian Ed Director admitted many of her parents dropped kids off for the Sunday School between the two services, but instead of staying for Adult Formation themselves, they would frequently go out for breakfast or do errands and come back for the children later. Some stayed for the family service afterwards, but many did not. I didn't like that. Having children and parents worshiping together is so important. But having some kind of adult education between service is definitely something that has benefited those churches who do it as a regular part of their Sunday mornings.

Christian Yoga was the next workshop. I was unable to get into the workshop about taking a mission trip, unfortunately. Laura Bailey from the Diocese of Louisiana led this workshop. I was pleasantly surprised as she led us through an audio tape yoga session, how it incorporated scripture, meditation, and even the Lord's Prayer in movements. Laura explained how she holds an informal Yoga class once a week at her parish after work at 5:45pm for an hour of this renewal. Yoga is a particular interest to me and the ladies at my lunch table talked about how it would be a benefit for their staff to have this time to connect each week with each other, with themselves and with God.

Finally, Jenifer Gamber led an excellent workshop on Technology. Jenifer is the author of "My Faith My Life," which is our curriculum we use for Confirmation at Grace. She talked about the importance of reaching families through technology, and to start thinking of leaving the paper trail behind...or at least reducing it. She was a big fan of Constant Contact for sending out regular newsletters and event reminders. I use Constant Contact at Grace for our Christian Ed communications, and can't praise it enough. She also went over steps on how to create video essays and movies for Youth Group, converting media files, clipping videos for discussions, designing a web site, and surveymonkey.com, a great resource to get feedback from families. We spent a good amount of time on the topic of Facebook, and Church's increased use of it for both adults and youth groups.

Internet safety and privacy of course came up regarding Facebook. And after much discussion about the safeguards Facebook has put in place, most agreed that it was an important resource to explore. Facebook has been something I have been considering for Christian Ed for about a year now, and after talking with others and hearing their positive experience with it for their Youth Groups, I think it is definitely something I would like to talk with parents at Grace about in the Fall for our new school year. I am sure there are many questions that parents have about it all, and it would not be something we would introduce without the support of parents.

After the workshops were over around 3:30pm, I came back to the hotel for a bit of rest before gathering in the lobby to meet up with arranged small groups for dinner. Our group of 11 ladies went to a Mexican restaurant on the Riverwalk. Some stayed on the Riverwalk after dinner for shopping and relaxation, but I needed to come back to the hotel to pack since my flight leaves tomorrow night at 5:30pm, and I will be at further workshops all day tomorrow. Many are staying an extra day until Saturday, but there is nothing planned as far as conference activities. I am flying onto Los Angeles to stay with friends and family for a week.

I'll make sure to update you once I get to LA about the final day of the conference. Not only have the workshops been inspiring, but so has the small group chats with other Educators. There is such a difference in how we all do things. No one is right or wrong, of course. We do what works for our parish. But many of us are seeking a fresh approach to what we are doing. Children's Sunday that we do at Grace was of interest to many at my lunch table because it was viewed as a no pressure solution to the Youth Sundays that some do where the children plan and write the service themselves. Why does everything always have to be such a pressured production, we concluded. Making it fun, making it stress free for the kids, and having them participate fully in the service is a great solution to involving them more often throughout the school year.

Wednesday night

There is a kind of peace that comes with recognition. A comfort in routine. A bonding in ritual. Tonight was special celebrating the Eucharist with these women and men from all around the country. Even though many of us have just met for the first time...worshiping together makes us one community. One family. Singing hymns like God of Grace and God of Glory and Lift High the Cross, which we sing often at Grace.

The banquet was a wonderful opportunity to get to know other Christian Education Directors doing what Episcopalians do best...eat! The menu was prepared and served by parish members of St. Mark's. In their recent renovation, St. Mark's has a cafeteria style serving kitchen that made the process of dinner easy. NAECED is the first group to hold a conference at St. Mark's since they finished their renovations last year.

At dinner, I was seated with Margaret Hutton of the Diocese of Washington, Melissa Neofes Mischak of the Diocese of California, Debbi Rodahaffer of the Diocese of Kentucky, and two other women whom I didn't get a chance to talk with so I missed getting their names. I'm sure I'll see them tomorrow.

I am one of the few here who are not a paid staff member. Some have recently been employed at 15 hours after many years of volunteering. Some have been cut from 40 to 20 hours. Others have been cut from 20 to 10. These economic times have touched every church, of every size, of every budget. But the other Christian Ed volunteers I have met all feel as I do...this is our calling and our ministry to our church.

Sports on Sundays was a hot topic at our table as well. Melissa Of California is making it her mission to gather every coach and Board of Education member in her city for a sit down to discuss the issue that accounts for families to have to make the decision of whether to honor their commitment to their child's spiritual formation by attending Sunday School & Youth Group or having their child honor their commitment to their team mates and coaches. We talked about how unfair pressure is being put on families who are trying to do it all, 7 days a week, in an exhausting cycle of schedules and running around.

St. Mark's, by the way, has many similar architectural features that Grace has. The high, vaulted ceilings and beams. The dark wood. The beautiful stained glass. The marble alter. But St. Mark's is much bigger, with 4 sections and 3 aisles. And more ornate wood carvings along all the walls. Still...it says "Episcopal" to me. Anglican. Traditional.

Tomorrow our workshops begin. 8:30am we gather in the meeting room at St. Mark's and then it begins.

Oh, and the location for the 2010 NAECED conference was announced during the banquet...San Francisco, California.

Wednesday

Any conference that begins with a free 10 minute chair massage is the conference for me!

What a nice surprise after registration...of course they didn't have to ask me twice...I was all over that.

This morning I started out early. Breakfast isn't provided today, so I asked the front desk for an inexpensive place to eat within walking distance. They steered me to Twin Sisters Bakery & Cafe.

A chorizo, brown rice and egg breakfast taco awaited me! Yum. Great suggestion by the waitress.

I had some free time before registration at St. Marks, so I took a stroll down to the Riverwalk...a few blocks away from the hotel. I visited San Antonio a few years ago with a group of girlfriends, so I was happy to revisit some of the places along the Riverwalk I had seen back then. The weather is tremendous. Sorry to keep bringing that up, but I just can't help it. It was in the high 40's early this morning, but by 10am, it had gotten up to the 60's. Last I checked it was in the 70's with bright sun.

There is an interesting dynamic here in SA like any city. Homelessness is apparent in the community parks, including the small one, Travis Park, I pass through from the hotel to get to St. Marks. I found out later that St. Marks does a tremendous amount of outreach right outside their own door in that park with community meals, especially.

I spend the early afternoon at St. Mark's registering and talking with the members who are organizing this conference. Kate Gillooly, from the Diocese of Ohio, is President. In the welcome packet she writes that this conference theme is "Marked as Christ's Own." Exploring our baptismal covenant, spirituality, sense of call and opportunities for nurture, refreshment and inspiration through networking and workshops are our focus over these next few days.

St. Mark's has a rich history. They established in 1858 and continued to grow to one of the largest Episcopal churches in the country outside of New York City. In the 1970's they faced a decline in membership, but in the late 1980's new steps they took reversed that trend. They made parking more abundant, introduced mission trips to Mexico and Central America, and introduced new and innovative worship services...contemporary, youth based, and "come as you are."

I talked with Sharon Pearson earlier this afternoon and she was happy to see so many Connecticut parishes represented here (Darien, Norwalk and Greenwich are the others).

In a few hours begins the welcome banquet (no need for dressing up, I'm told. Everyone is casual in jeans, slacks and casual skirts) and Eucharist.

Here is a nifty shot of St. Mark's. I'll check in after the events of tonight.

Hola from San Antonio

I arrived at The St Anthony about 7pm and fell absolutely in love with its historic ambiance. I haven't had a time to explore yet, but that will happen tomorrow. I will post some photos then.

I've been traveling all day and it is 9:30pm here...but my body is still on Eastern time and thinks its 10:30pm.

I've already met someone who is here for the NAECED conference. We rode together on the shuttle from the airport to the hotel. She is Sue Tate, a Diocesan librarian for the Diocese of Seattle, Washington. She spotted me getting on the shuttle and figured out I was here for NAECED too. How she figured that out, I forgot to ask her.

The church that Sue attends has an average weekly attendance of 600-700 people. Yep. You read that right. Their budget is enormous. Yet she talked about having some of the same issues we have at Grace Church--tiny in comparison.

Sue and I both were gleeful at the weather here. Even at 6pm it was in the low 70's and lovely. As I was leaving Bradley this early afternoon, the snow began to fall heavier, the plane had to be de-iced, and I was dreading the worst. But I was blessed with an incident free flight from Hartford to Dallas as well as the Dallas to San Antonio leg.

Tomorrow we gather for the first time in the early afternoon. In the morning I will set out to explore a bit.

Thank you for all the well wishes, prayers and suggestions via email. You can also leave messages here on the blog if you wish to.

Goodnight...more tomorrow.

The night before

I'm keeping an eye on the ever changing forcast. As of this writing, it seems like only a dusting of snow before I take off tomorrow for San Antonio. So hopefully there will not be any delays. We shall see!

Sharon Pearson has already arrived in SA and has been giving us the weather updates and a few tips before we arrive via the NAECED email listserv. I got to know Sharon when she worked in the Episcopal Diocese of Connecticut as the Children's Ministries & Christian Education Coordinator,. She left in 2007 and is now the Christian Formation Specialist for Church Publishing Inc. She is a wealth of knowledge and the biggest cheerleader for Christian Ed Directors ever! She has incredible energy and never ceases to amaze me in all that she knows.

The latest numbers for this conference are over 100 Christian Ed Directors from around the country will be attending the conference...the largest number ever. I'm really excited to meet these women and men and share ideas.

The workshops all sound so good, I hope that I get into the ones I marked as my first choice on the registration sheet. We also needed to put down a second choice in case the one we want is filled. Wednesday is the official start of the conference in the afternoon with signing in and a special welcome at our host church, St. Mark's. Later that day is the opening banquet, followed by a Eucharist service. The evening ends with a fireside chat at the hotel.

Thursday and Friday are the workshop days. These are the ones I'm hoping to attend:

1) Youth Christ & Culture: Understanding the Popular Theology of Those in Your Pews.
Recent research has revealed shifts in attitudes among young people and spirituality, faith, morals, ethics and the church. This workshop helps to explain why there is a disconnect between what is taught and how it is interpreted by teens...and what teens are seeking when they come to church.

2) Small Groups for Lifelong Spiritual Formation.
When Sunday worship and coffee hour are over, how do we as Christians continue to grow in community? In this workshop, we'll talk about small group ministries, burn-out, and how to keep the fellowship going outside the church walls

3) So You Want to take a Mission Trip/Pilgrimage?
Everything you need to know about planning a trip for teens or adults, including specific details on the ones that have been used recently in the Episcopal Churches around the world.

4) Homegrown Spiritual Formation for the Small Church?
Talking about creating a formation program that will demonstrate a commitment to children, you and adults

5) We are ALL Leaders- Paradigms for the 21st. Century.
Leaders are not just people with titles. What are some of the new ways to help people of all ages in the parish to understand their roles as leaders and to get them more involved.

6) One Size Does not Fit All: How to Choose a Curriculum

7) New Technologies:
Using technology to reach teens

8) An Introduction to Christian Yoga
A time of relaxation and meditation and incorporating it into your life of prayer.

I will check in again tomorrow with an update. Please keep me in your prayers for a safe trip and a inspiring experience in San Antonio